April Fools

Americans React to Latest IPCC Report

The latest Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change’s report outlines some of the significant impacts of current and future carbon outputs. What do Americans think?

April 1, 2023

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change’s (IPCC) Sixth Assessment Report (AR6) on climate impacts is the culmination of eight years of research from hundreds of scientists across the globe. The most recent synthesis report outlines the significant consequences of rising greenhouse gas emissions, which include flooding, droughts, heatwaves, glacier melt, wildfires, and more. BuildingGreen asked citizens what they think of the report’s findings.

a map of the USA with the flag superimposed but questions marks instead of stars.
Image: Adrenal Omen, A.F. Emeritus

1. Humans have increased the temperature of the earth by 1.1° Celsius. What do you think the impact of that will be?

“Celsius? What the hell is Celsius?!”

Christy Jo Hanes, 32, high school science teacher/school board member, Tampa, Florida

2. The report says that climate impacts are widespread and severe. Have you been negatively impacted by climate change?

“Me? No. Never. Sure, the neighbor’s house was washed away this spring. And we lost most of the topsoil exposed by last fall’s wildfire, but not having snow or having to shovel the driveway anymore? I call that a win!”

Hedly Osirich, 72, Walmart greeter, Fairbanks, Alaska

3. After reading about the dire impacts climate change is having on people and the planet, do you think the world must rapidly shift away from burning fossil fuels?

“Actions like that would negatively impact quarterly stockholder dividends, potentially compromising the company’s projected earnings throughout the entire next fiscal year.”

Max Werth, 35, hedge fund manager, New York, New York

4. What do you think when experts say we need widespread overhaul of renewable energy infrastructure?

“I heard of a guy who knew a guy whose neighbor had solar panels. He said they were so noisy it killed their dog! Then he lost his house and had to move! True story. You call that renewable!?”

Susan Farimer, 28, phlebotomist, Yuba City, California

5. What do you think of carbon removal and sequestration? Many say it is now essential to limit global temperature rise.

“I totally agree. Anything with carbon should be hauled off and locked up somewhere … just not here. We’re having guests at our summer home this weekend.”

Melody Fairfield, 45, philanthropist, Stowe, Vermont

6. The fossil fuel and petrochemical industries directly impact climate change, but their production has also been linked to pollution, increased cancer rates, and loss of educational and employment opportunities for low-income and BIPOC communities. What do you think?

“Huh. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.”

Larry Johnson, 45, unemployed, St. John’s Parrish, Louisiana

7. What are your overall impressions of the IPCC’s report?

“I’m sorry. I don’t do impressions. I’m a licensed CPA.”

Duane Melman, 57, accountant, Walla Walla, Washington

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